Baby Shower!
A couple of our friends, who are just absolute sweethearts, organized a baby shower for SiliMommy yesterday. They had a fabulous time, playing funny games, eating yummy treats, and enjoying the eleven (!) dogs who were in attendance.
Everyone was also unbelievably kind and generous in giving us an avalanche of beautiful gifts for SiliBaby. If any of you happens to be reading this, thank you so, so much for everything yesterday! (I'm not naming names here, as this blog seeks to preserve a modicum of anonymity...)
It's especially meaningful to us because we live so far away from our respective hometowns/families; the shower emphasized to us once again that, despite our families' being so far away, we've made some really wonderful friends here, and so hardly lack for a local support system.
Update: Photos here!
Childbirth class, pt. ii
Much of last night was consumed by videos. One video was about vaginal delivery, and featured "documentary-style" footage of women wincing, grunting, and screaming. The other was about C-sections.
Perhaps the highlight, though, was this quote, which our instructor took from a book:
Among the Huichol Indians, the father traditionally sat above his labouring wife in the rafters of the hut, with a rope tied round his testicles. When his partner felt a painful contraction she would tug on the rope, so that he too would experience the pain which would bring new life.
It was accompanied by the following graphic.
We've begun childbirth classes
Well, we had the first of our series of four childbirth classes this past Thursday night. The first real milestone, perhaps, to indicate that we're entering the home stretch.
The first class was quite interesting, although my ankle was certainly an unwelcome distraction. Hard to sit comfortably on the floor with SiliMommy when doing the breathing exercises, for one thing. I also learned that I can't really tell, from behind, whether she's inhaling or not. The expansion/contraction of her frame isn't terribly conspicuous.
Part of the exercises involved my inducing mild discomfort by squeezing her hand. The idea is for her to start to get used to removing herself from the pain and concentrating on her breathing. (The hand-squeezes are done so as to mimic contractions.) I might have squeezed a little too hard: At the end, she gave me this "you enjoyed that, didn't you" glance. (Normally, she's the one who doles out the physical punishment :-) )
Among the interesting things we learned or saw were: illustrations of the inside of a woman's body when not pregnant vs. when pregnant (I had an idea that the various organs get kind of squashed by the growing fetus, but,
damn, they sure get flattened in there!); phases and lengths of labor; that if the mother doesn't husband her strength carefully during labor, she might just run out of energy, necessitating a "suction delivery" because she can't push any more; the "pain-tension-fear" cycle.
We also learned that a scant 4 to 5 percent of first-time babies actually come on or before their due dates. They can be up to two weeks late before it's really considered a problem. This was of some concern to us because Obaa-chan* is slated to arrive from Japan on the scheduled due date, and remain here for about a week. (We've already spent a small fortune--several hundred dollars--to reschedule her flight once, and are loath to do so again.) At any rate, Grandpa** is due to arrive just after my mother-in-law goes back, so we'll still have a grandparent here. Maybe even my mom after that. (She's got her own health issues right now.)
* For ease of differentiation, I refer to my in-laws as
o-baa-chan and
o-jii-chan: respectively, "Grandma" and "Grandpa" in Japanese. (That's surely what SiliBaby will grow up calling them.)
** I refer to my own parents--the American grandparents--simply as "Grandma" and "Grandpa."
Baby FAQ
1) Boy or girl?
Girl. I'm looking forward to catching up on all the tea parties and Barbie play I missed out on as a little boy. (I did actually switch the heads on my sister's Ken and Barbie dolls. Inexplicably, she was not amused.)
2) Have you guys picked out a name?
Not yet. There is one strong front runner for a first name right now. Recently, a dark horse has also emerged.
3) Will her name be Japanese or English?
The first name will be Judaically derived. The middle name will be Japanese. One name that I liked, but that we won't be using, is Sara(h). That's my grandma's Hebrew name, and Ashkenazic Jews don't name babies after living relatives. (The Angel of Death shouldn't come for the namesake, and mistakenly carry off the child instead.)
4) Are you going to teach her Japanese, too?
Our intention (or at least hope) is to raise a fully bilingual child, with a strong affinity for all three of her cultural heritages: Jewish, American, and Japanese.
5) In what religion will you raise her?
By halachic (Torah-based) law, she's not a Jew because her mother isn't. I intend, however, that she will grow up thoroughly exposed to Judaism. When she gets to be old enough, she can decide for herself what relationship she wants with the religion.
For her part, my wife, like most Japanese, isn't real hung up on religion one way or the other.
6) What will SiliMommy do about work?
SiliMommy is going on maternity leave from late December to mid-April. We are deeply reluctant to put the little one into childcare until she's at least a year, so hopefully we'll figure something out. (That something looks like it will be a combination of telecommuting and maternity/paternity leave, as possible.)
We are lucky, at least, to live in the only state in the Union that offers dads paid (disability insurance) paternity leave, up to 12 weeks.
7) What does the pug think about all of this?
He loves little kids, and he seems to like infants, too. (We've introduced him to a couple, and he gently gave them little puggy kisses.) Still, when a baby appears on his own turf, he may be a little less excited.
We're not concerned about his turning vicious or anything like that. If he does get resentful, we are much more likely to see the phenomenon manifest itself in the form of "political statements" left around the house or destructive behavior. (He's been iron-clad housebroken since he was a baby, so I'm really hoping he's not going to regress along that track.)
The vet did give us a handout, detailing a procedure for introducing an infant into the home in a way to minimize the trauma on the pre-existing dog. So I guess we'll try and follow that, at least.
Welcome!
Well, I'd wanted to do this for a while, but didn't have the time. Work's been busy, we had a full social calendar during the summer, and other stuff had kept me from launching this blog.
Since I broke my ankle two weeks ago, I'm suddenly a lot less busy, if not by choice. The silver lining from that cloud is that I was finally able to sit down and get this blog up and running.
The ankle, actually, amounts to the first time SiliBaby has cramped my style (if indirectly). I was doing stuff related to getting her room ready when I fell and was injured. So, in her own way, she's already here, and making Daddy's life more interesting.
Unfortunately, I managed to get hurt just at the beginning of the room preparations. Those are now on hold until I'm back on my feet (four more weeks, officially), so it's going to be a bit of a mad dash next month.
Anyway, at least this is one tiny (even inconsequential) thing I can check off the list. Now that it's up and running, I intend for this blog to become the "official" dissemination point for news about our baby and us.
(Next on the agenda: Finish up my long-paused Halo II! :-) )
